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The Protocol of Dating

Some people agonize over dates. How should I dress, what should I say, what if they donít like this or that? All of that kind of thinking is destructive. Are you going to go through those things in your mind every day of your married life? Are you going to act differently after you are married? Donít create a ďsurpriseĒ for your future spouse after you are married. The best thing you can be on a date is yourself. So wear what you want, say what you want, be who you are.

I am surprised at the number of couples who donít tell each other the truth. You are selecting the person you want to be with the rest of your life. It would seem to me that one of the main things of a lasting relationship is telling the truth. I am not talking about the surprise birthday gift you are trying to keep secret. I am talking about the other 99% of life with a person that you need to count on. Admit mistakes, let them know you donít like their favorite sport. They are going to find out sooner or later anyway. Remember, you are trying to decide if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life. It is good if you find out that you donít while you are dating. It is bad to find that out after you are married.

Be Open

Once again, dating is the time to get to know someone and to let someone know about you. Both parties cannot make the proper decision if information is withheld. If a particular action does not set with you, let your date know. You donít have to keep saying I donít like this and I donít like that if they are minor things, but if something is big enough that you are going to remember it later your best course of action is to let your date know you did not like something.

Remember, dating is not one-sided. It is not you who should decide if you keep dating the person or get married, it is the both of you. You must provide enough information about yourself so your date can decide if they want to be with you. It is not a bad thing for someone to decide they donít want to be with you while you are dating. It is a very hurtful thing for someone to decide they donít want to be with you after you are married. Let them know what you think now, before it is more painful later. After all, they will find out eventually.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.